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Writer's pictureDee Aspin

How to Reverse Disappointment

Sometimes, many times, stuff happens that is less than ideal. In fact, it’s downright disappointing.


We go on vacation, and things start out rough. Luggage gets lost. Our purse is stolen. The weather is not typical, and we are dressed for Hawaii in Antarctica.


Other times joy rises, then falters as we prepare to dive into a project. Our back goes out… the computer breaks down… the car dies.


The giggling, cooing infant suddenly screams with colic… constantly.


An insecure child or dependent parent calls in need of help—now. Goodbye again, postponed project.


Or our ideal mate, or date…lets us down. Forgets or frowns.


Ideals in relationships fade in a few months. The pedestal person shines for three to twelve months and the pedestal lowers. The real person walks off. Imperfect meets imperfect and the actual relationship begins—minus the ideal one.


We journal, “this isn’t the ideal.” God smiles, aware of our distress.


No problem. He’s been here. He knows it isn’t Heaven.


He knows we live in fantasy land, even as adults.


Just like He knew the spouse we married wasn’t the ideal kid. Nor parent.


Nor the vacation. Nor the job. The church. The home. The neighborhood…


Eventually, we discover… it’s not about ideal. It’s about contentment.


We must learn to be content with less. Less than ideal. Not more. Even, in our own progress.


And, moving past the dregs of disappointment, absolutely, requires the Art of Appreciation.


Gratitude opens our hearts to receive and live in the daily grace and goodness of God… again.


- Reverse: The way out of ideal thinking is to stop ourselves and reverse. “Whatever is true and pure and good and lovely, think about these things…” Philippians 4:8


- Realize: There’s always someone else, somewhere else in this world that would be happy with our less than ideal. Read about other places and people and pray for them. Actively show care. Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others… Philippians 2: 4


- Reset: Journal our thanks. Pray to be alive to God and loving Him and present with others. In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God... I Thessalonians 5:18


- Reach out: Ask God for help. Ask others for needs beyond our scope to cope. Research resources. Live as though we are surrounded by care—not alone. Affirm God’s love is relentless. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you... 1 Peter 5:7 Share with God’s people who are in need… Romans 12:13


Rising up releases the victorious life from the victim mentality, and increases self-worth and satisfaction.




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